Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
