I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
