hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
