How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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