How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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