I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
