I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
