a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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