Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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