Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
