ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
