i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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