his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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