Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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