Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize