Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I just had sex on a roof
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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