it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
