Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
