we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
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