def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize
