did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
