WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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