maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
