I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize