I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
