I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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