Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Be still, my beating vagina.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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