i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
