She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
