he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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