oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It's no shave November. This is our time.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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