thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
