i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize