It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Randomize
