Taylor Swift is so right about you.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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