Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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