I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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