so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
this will be a night to untag.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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