I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
