It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
