You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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