If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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