If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
false alarm. still invincible.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
