'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
whose ass print is on the piano?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
