as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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