Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
