That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
