So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
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