I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
