My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
