But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
