Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
