dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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