I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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