the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
