Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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