so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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