My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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