at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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