There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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