i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
