So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
