You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
