My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
